As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
