What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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