Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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