I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Randomize
