i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
