is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
