Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
