Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
