i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
