She's JV to your varsity
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
