im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
id be glad to
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
