I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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