How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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