Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize