You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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