So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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