I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
