Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
