I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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