My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
