Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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