Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
