I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
