honey bunches of taint.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
