508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
