Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize