white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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