Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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