oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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