I'm going to jail i love you
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
