how can u be prego again
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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