jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Princesses don't give blow jobs
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Drunk is not a location!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
