thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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