dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
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