Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
