And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize