ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I want to make a zoo with you.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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