1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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