I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
