just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
