Whod you bang
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
What a dumb baby whore.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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