shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
