I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
