I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I think I died a long time ago.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
