My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
