Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
FUCK WHALES
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