i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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