Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

yo i have your phone

(202): View more from Washington, DC

... oh so you probably won't get this message

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(858): View more from California

that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...

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(480): View more from Arizona

turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.

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(631): View more from New York

life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.

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(305): View more from Florida

Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"

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(712): View more from Iowa

it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.

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