we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
