i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
