She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
