my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
