whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
