i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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