i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize