Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize