You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
