He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
