Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
