If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
