and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
