i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize