im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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