It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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