My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize