this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
