I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
