the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
